« Today's reading, etc. | Main | I didn't even plan it this way, but here's today's reading. »
March 07, 2006
Eat this!
Last week, Jason reprogrammed the television remote to skip over channel 46 when scrolling up and down through the channels. Now, Reader, we have no direcTV, no TiVo or -FaUx, not even fancy menu-tastic digital cable. We have plain-ass cable (plus fuzzy, blackmarket Showtime!) and a remote that won't work the DVD and has separate on and off buttons. It's unclear to me why we're allowed to exist in such an analog manner. I expect the Sunset Squad to rap on my door any evening now, interrupting my daily devotional exercises in front of channel 46, which just happens to be our local cable affiliate's designated spot for the Food Network.
I've said my piece on sucky cooking shows already, but Reader, I have found a new reason to watch Food teevee: the hot celebrity chef.
What is it about these guys that I find so attractive? It is not as though Michael "Easy" Chiarello is really my type. Well, except for the whole "family vineyards" bit. And he just called White Castle "Castello Blanco," which made me melt a little and forgive him for hosting a show that is basically a gigantic product placement, Napa-style (which is to say, tastefully understated despite abundance of dorky wine glass holding plates).
For those of you who have learned to loathe falsely-advertised "Naked Chef" Jamie Oliver (hate for Oliver seems only eclipsed by rampant disgust for Rachel Ray) and yet still have a place for a pixie-faced homemaker in your lives, just look at Dave Lieberman and try to think mean thoughts. You cannot! It is impossible! Check out his "Good Deal" show and watch him scamper all around Manhattan, dropping food knowledge like "OMG! chocolate is like really hot right now!" with such a disgustingly appealing Abercrombiesque joie de vivre. I half expect him to start stripping in front of the Columbus Circle Whole Foods at any time, flinging a papaya smoothie over his head while exhorting passers-by to Taste! Me! America!
I blame the current political climate. National leaders are so ugly these days, is it any wonder we turn inward to matters domestic? I mean, I would gladly ogle a Senator or whatever, but for the most part they are woefully stuffy-looking when they're not downright unappetizing. Is it wrong to imagine Michael Chiarello using Dan Lieberman as a serving platter for an easy yet elegant cocktail brunch? Reader, these are boys who know their risottos. And that, frankly, is hotter than any subcommittee ever could be.
Posted by eek at March 7, 2006 04:11 PM
Comments
Dude, we don't even have cable. It's all about the rabbit ears. We get the 6 networks and 2 PBS channels and THAT'S IT.
Posted by: mle at March 7, 2006 04:25 PM
Tyler Florence is the hottest of all the chefs!! And as far as politicos go, John Edwards isn't too hard on the eyes
Posted by: Verna at March 7, 2006 06:38 PM
Rachel Ray sucks. She went to Vegas on her stupid $40 a Day show and ate at Bahama Breeze!What, was there a wait at Olive Garden?
Posted by: yournamehere at March 7, 2006 07:07 PM
I'd rather see the person actually COOK during most of the show. Get rid of the shopping. Get rid of the dorky guests. Get rid of the product placements. Stop setting the table.
Show me the food. Tell me the name of the vegetable or meat or spice you are using. (Show it to me in writing.)
Then show me how to cook it. And shut up already.
Julia Child, I miss you.
Posted by: dottcomments at March 8, 2006 11:36 AM
I've said it before and I'll say it again - Christopher Kimball and "America's Test Kitchen" are all the cooking show you'll ever need.
Posted by: Hulkster at March 8, 2006 08:53 PM
Yes, but is he hot(t)?
Posted by: eek at March 8, 2006 10:01 PM
Hot chefs are the only reason I watch cooking shows. Wait, Nigella does have a cooking show, right? I can't be sure but damn, she's hot.
Posted by: sac at March 9, 2006 11:47 AM