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May 16, 2006

Her claddagh ring was pointed at the people.

Some odd thoughts from today:

I have a new Not at Work rule. Along with crying, lying about your entire identity, and leaving poop bombs outside of the financial offices during times of organizational distress, you mustn't hum loudly in the communal office toilet stall. Simply avoid this habit, if you're inclined to vocalize (jauntily, I might add!) during elimination. There are others in the restroom, and we are cringing, because you are making us wonder what you're so darn breezy about.

I voted in our state primary today. At my polling place? The two loudest poll workers had the same speech impediment. Sadly, their discussion of Verleen who had recently retired sounded more like an indictment of the old girl's cognitive skills. Though I am usually an informed voter, I cannot be held responsible for the constabulary race. We have a constable? Am I in a Washington Irving story?

Queen of the Damned is on the cable right now. I feel like I'm trapped in a Hot Topic breakroom. I say this as someone who's read more Anne Rice novels than she should admit in polite company, but wow, this is the bad kind of camp. Which, I guess, means it's not even camp. It's just terrible. Lots of swishy vampires sassing each other, which in and of itself can be kind of hot if they'd just gum each other once in a while, but the tacky Korn soundtrack plus Aaliyah (I know she's dead! don't email me!) plus the freshman auteur effects equal I can't believe someone made a movie about a vampire's one-off rock concert. I mean a vampire's desire to be a real person again. Stuart Townsend gave us that much authenticity at least. This might be the worst movie ever made. Ooh, Aaaaliyaaah is writhing. Oh SWEET GOD she just ripped some dopey mesh-shirted vampire's heart out of his chest cavity!! I take it back, this movie is fucking AWESOME. And Aayaayayaleejahh's clothes! I dreamt I set the undead on fire wearing my steel-plated Maidenform bra!

Tomorrow night's Top Chef better be something else to top this. I'm talking Harold Dieterle in a mesh shirt, drinking the blood of twinkie pastry chefs.

Posted by eek at May 16, 2006 05:38 PM

Comments

A supervisor at work does kegels on the potty.

Posted by: Terri at May 16, 2006 09:49 PM

Is her vagina that powerful that you can hear her clench unclench in the stall next door?

Posted by: monkey at May 17, 2006 01:08 AM

Voting for Constable is the price you pay for living in one o' them states (or rather, "commonwealths") that's been around since God was a Boy. Here out west we don't believe in such foolishment.

Posted by: Hulkster at May 17, 2006 10:40 AM

You should NEVER have a conversation in a bathroom at work. I cannot stand it when someone tries to talk to me while I am standing next to them at a urinal. You just don't do that. One of our OIS co-horts is especially guilty of this.

Posted by: Thommy Browne at May 20, 2006 09:59 PM

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