EEK!

Wow. There's just no excuse for that. Especially given the amount of time you and Jason have been together (and it's not like you just got married 6 months ago or something). These days I can't imagine why someone would automatically assume a name change on the part of the wife (or no name change on the part of the husband, for that matter!)

Wow. I am moved by your spirited protest. Right on and AMEN sister KEANE!

Is it wrong to say I kind of hate my sister for hyphenating our three syllable last name with my brother's three syllable last name? That's 16 letters right there, not even counting the dash. I'm curious to see how it fits on her degree and any future invitations. I wish she had either just kept it or changed it.

I can understand why complete strangers might assume two married people have the same last name but I find it pretty inexcusable in friends and family, though I would be inclined to let it go simply because I've found with friends who've struggled with the issue that it's either complete oversight because the person's a lazyass, or done to further heckle the person for their choice. In one case you risk making the other person feel hurt over an oversight (or they just rectify it, it depends on how you approach it) and in the other, you give the heckler the pleasure of your ire. I mean, if you thinkg about it, the heckler generation, which I think of as either the older or inter-generation between the advent of hyphenation and not changing-are well on their way to the coffin anyhoo. And as for people our age who engage in heckling, well, these are the type of people who tend to think it's okay to shoot someone for stepping an inch on to their property line, even if accidentally.

I know it's just lazyassedness (we really don't have the kind of relationship that would encourage heckling - we're cordial but mutually disinterested), but I'm struggling with a way to let them know what my name is without coming off as bitchy or passive-aggressive. Right now I just fume privately and occasionally to J's mother, who's quite sympathetic. J was unimpressed with my suggestion that he pass the word along, on account of them being his relations and all.

My mom's a hyphenator, twice over! She did it to preserve her initials. RRR - just like her mom and brothers. :)

Then I'm going to guess the polite written response with your actual legal name or the casual, "hey by the way...didn't change it" laughlaugh tactics didn't work because I know you're totally better at human interaction than me.

Sorry but a 1 time oversight = lazyass. Oversights a couple of jokey "yo, this is what's up" later, are pretty irritating and IMO, just signals that they don't give a shit about you or your opinions or feelings. I guess at that point I'd be fuming too.

I hate where someone's raging apathy/mild rudeness concerns something that can be pigeon-holed as a "small" thing making YOU potentially look like the asshole for bringing it up but just grates.

I'm starting to get tired of Mle's family sending stuff to "Emily Tryer and Dan." I'm not Sting, man, I've got a last fricking name.

Mle and I have discussed creating a brand-new last name if/when we get married. Neither of us is especially attached to our own personal surnames - we've discussed combining the two into a new name. Ladies and gentlemen, the Strykers! Especially good if we have kids, so we can give them equally cool first names like Ace and Duke, and they can grow up to be action heroes.

I know I'm not there yet, but I can't imagine being anyone but a Whitehouse. I was floored when one of my nearest and dearest friends changed her last name. I still screw it up all the time, and she's been married for at least a couple of years.

Omigod, Hulk and MLE, I will pay cash on the barrelhead for you guys to become the Strykers. That is AWESOME. You'll have a readymade team name for bowling league. "Dude, this is a league game!"

Terri, that's why I didn't change my name - it's my name! I just couldn't imagine being anyone other than who I am.

Monks, I've let it go for so long, actually, that I'm afraid any correction now would be so awkward, especially since we don't see each other except at family gatherings. Maybe if J decided to send them xmas cards or something, we could sign with both of our full names and that would send the message? Sigh.

There was never a moment in my life that I thought I'd change my name.

Thirty years ago (jesus fuck I am old) it was illegal in Kentucky for women to "keep" their birth names after marriage. A woman had to go to court and pay hundreds of dollars to change her name back.

Any women who carried a driver's license with an "assumed" name could be cited, fined and required to get a new license. Lucky I was never caught.

Call me a scofflaw. It suits me.

"Okay, that's fine Mrs. Keane, thank yuse very much for supportin' the Policemen's Association. Now, Mrs. Keane, how much of a donation can I put you down fer? It sez here you and Mr. Keane are regulah contributors to our cause, and you know Mrs. Keane, the Policemen are really in great need this year, what with the rising cost of Kevlar and such. So, with all this in mind, Mrs. Keane...."

Hee! Mrs. Keane is MY grandmother!

Seriously? The Police donation people scare the fuck outta me! I happily pay my taxes ... why are the police still hustling me for money? And the firemen? I'll buy a calendar if they're hot or something. Sheesh!

Dott, I forgive you your lawless ways.

We legally changed both of our names, first and last, to Nuni. Problem solved.

No, silly, that's Nuni!

Personally, I couldn't wait to get rid of my last name. I love my married name (even tho I am no longer married) and never hesitated a second at keeping it after the divorce.

To each their own :-)

That is freakin' annoying. Like they're just not paying enough attention to you. I mean it's your name! If they can't be bothered enough to remember your freakin' name- what else are they going to do?

*planning on changing my name when me and the boy eventually get around to tying the knot but that's because my last name is so very annoying.*